


A Visit From Whitman (Or, 'Twas the Day After Christmas Vacation)

by juniper (junipermouse)



Category: Community
Genre: Character of Color, Christmas, Dark Agenda, Fluff, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-20
Updated: 2010-12-20
Packaged: 2017-10-13 20:20:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/141368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/junipermouse/pseuds/juniper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When the study group seems to be missing the day after Christmas vacation, Troy and Abed have no choice but to investigate. Meanwhile, the rest of the gang is planning something.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Visit From Whitman (Or, 'Twas the Day After Christmas Vacation)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [doorrepairgirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/doorrepairgirl/gifts).



> This was super-inspired by, and should be taken directly after, Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas (with a little Cooperative Calligraphy and Mixology Certification thrown in for reference points). I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!
> 
> Technically this is gen/fluff, but it could totally be taken as Troy/Abed if you prefer.
> 
> And, of course, a huge thank you to my lovely betas rivereyes, htbthomas, and perculious, who work up until the last minute for me. <3

_T'was the third of January;_   
_the holiday, over._   
_But everyone stayed quiet,_   
_nursing hangovers._

 _Outside the library hung_   
_a chill in the air,_   
_yet not one person present_   
_asked why they were there._

“Why _are_ we here?” Jeff wondered aloud, trying to stretch out casually on an icy metal bench.

Britta frowned at him. “We're here because—”

Jeff waved a hand. “No, no. I get why we're doing this. I mean, why are we doing this _out_ _here_? What is the logic in freezing ourselves to death in the name of friendship? Why don't we just go into the study room—you know, where we spend 90% of our time together anyway?”

From behind them, Pierce snickered. “You two ought to know about spending time in the study room.”

They glared at him.

“Because you did it in there, I mean,” he clarified.

“ _Oh_ ,” Jeff said loudly. “I totally didn't get that. Thank you for saying it out loud.”

Britta ignored Pierce entirely. “We're doing this _here_ because...” she hesitated, “well, Annie and Shirley wanted to... um...” She gave up and shrugged. “I have no idea, but I'm trying to be more open-minded, so let's just, you know. Roll with it.” She rolled her shoulders and held up her hands in a way that she clearly, for some reason, thought made her look relaxed and hip. “Homie.”

“How very _Clueless_ of you,” Jeff sniped, sinking lower onto the bench.

“I didn't even see that movie,” Britta muttered defensively and sank down next to him, pulling her hoodie over her hair. “Where is everyone, anyway?” She reluctantly turned to Pierce. “Pierce, you told Troy about this, right?”

“Of course I did. I sent him a text _and_ I left a message on his answering machine.”

“Voicemail,” Jeff supplied. “You didn't talk to him? You two live together. That was the entire reason we told you to do it.”

Pierce looked hurt. “I thought it was because we're such good friends.”

Jeff opened his mouth to say something, then shut it again. Britta jumped in. “Fine, that too. Pierce, what happened?”

Pierce shuffled a little in his chair. “I... thought it would be cooler to do it on the phone. You know, us young people, we're always messing with those things.”

“He means he forgot,” Jeff translated.

“Screw you!”

“Well, anyway, he must have checked his messages by now,” Jeff said, turning back around. “I'm sure they're on their way.”

Everyone was quiet for a moment. Pierce gently steered himself closer to Britta.

“I've been meaning to ask you,” he muttered. “The whole study room table thing. Does this mean you've renounced lesbianism, or—?”

“Pierce!”

Jeff sighed and pinched his nose. “They've got to be on their way.”

***

 _The study room was vacant;_   
_yes, that much was clear—_   
_'til entered Troy Barnes and_   
_his friend Abed Nadir._   


_They were ready to learn,_   
_vacations at their ends._   
_Imagine their surprise to_   
_find none of their friends!_

“Okay, something's wrong,” Troy declared immediately. “We're here before Annie. That's just not right.”

Abed checked his watch. “We're actually three minutes late. It usually goes Annie, who's five minutes early, then Shirley because it's polite to be punctual, then us, then Pierce if he doesn't stop to go to the bathroom, then Britta so she can say something snarky to Jeff as he comes in later than her, then Jeff. And then Pierce last if he stops to go to the bathroom. Annie and Shirley should both be here by now. And either Pierce or Britta should be coming in...”

They looked up at the door. Nothing happened.

Abed cocked his head to the side. “Something's definitely wrong.”

“Maybe they were eaten by a bear,” Troy said. Abed glanced around the room.

“Not enough signs of a struggle... and I don't smell either fish or honey, which are the two most common attractions for bears.” Abed began to move around the room, examining the chairs, peering under the table. “Let's look for clues.”

“We've got to find them, man.” Troy followed Abed's lead, picking up a couch cushion. “I mean, they're our friends. Plus, I have like, zero chance of passing Astropology 102 without Annie's notes.”

“It's Anthropology,” Abed noted, crouching to peer into the air vent. “I think Astropology would be the study of civilizations on other planets.”

“Okay, that would be way more awesome, but you see my point?”

But Abed was busy staring at something in the vent. “Huh.”

“What?”

Abed shook his head and stood. “Nothing important. Jeff was right, but I think this is a revelation better left for later.”

“Jeff was right about something. Yeah, big revelation, all right.” Troy folded his arms. “Okay, look, obviously they were kidnapped.”

Abed thought about this one for a moment, then nodded. “That seems narratively sound. In that case, the only solution is to team up to solve the mystery.”

“Sweet.” They high-fived. “Okay—where do we start?”

“I think I know just the place.” Abed picked up his bag and moved for the door, Troy in tow. “Team Mystery, move out.”

***

 _Since he seemed the most likely,_   
_they started with Chang._

“ _Me_?” Chang spat. “Why would I kidnap your little friends?”

“You've been wanting to join the study group for months,” Abed pointed out. “Maybe you thought it was time for some more extreme methods.”

“I would never do something that stupid,” Chang shot back, quickly writing something down.

“Really.” Troy folded his arms and nodded at Chang's notebook. “What's that?”

“Nothing.” Chang snapped the notebook shut and shoved it into his bag. He glared at them. “I don't know where your pals are and I wouldn't care if I did. Try elsewhere.”

***

 _Then moved on to Leonard_   
_and his creepy gang._

“Ahh, piss off,” Leonard growled. The old people behind him tittered nastily.

“Let's get out of here,” Troy whispered to Abed.

***

 _They checked in with Starburns,_   
_who wanted no ransom._

“And my name is Alex,” he called after them as they left.

***

 _And asked Dr. Rich, who was_   
_still looking handsome._

“Huh? Jeff Winger's study group?” Rich squinted at them. “I haven't seen those guys since...”

Everyone hesitated for a second.

“Um... pottery class.” Rich scratched his head. “Right?”

“Yeah, this was kind of a long shot,” Troy said. “He's a doctor, not some secret psycho.”

“A secret psycho! Me!”

Rich laughed about that for a long time after they left.

A long time.

***

 _They asked Buddy and Duncan,_   
_Bogner and the Dean;_   
_all the while missing_   
_their friends in the next scene._

Annie and Shirley had rejoined the group. “Where do you think they could be?” Annie fretted, pacing back and forth.

“Maybe they froze to death, like I'm doing right now.”

“Oh!” Shirley bit her lip.

“This is going all wrong,” Annie sighed. “I just wanted to help...”

“Annie, this isn't your fault.” Britta got up from the bench, where she had been trying not to fall asleep on Jeff. “If it's anyone's, it's Pierce's.”

“Hey!”

“Oh, come on!” She rounded on him. “How hard is it to say, hey, Troy, while we're eating our Froot Loops together in the giant carbon footprint of a house we've been living in for six months, you should be outside the library at four!?”

Annie blinked at Britta. “You've been to their house?” she asked.

“Well, I'm assuming,” she sniffed.

“Fair enough,” Jeff chipped in. “And she has a point, either way.”

“Screw you again!”

“Everyone!” Shirley gently interrupted. “I'm not saying it's not absolutely Pierce's fault, but let's try not to fight. This is Christmas, after all.”

“It's January third.”

“Which makes it the tenth day of Christmas and still part of the holiday season, Jeffrey.” Shirley smiled beatifically. “Now shut up. This isn't about you and you know it.”

“Yeah, and I bet it's just killing him,” Britta whispered to Annie, who giggled despite herself.

***

 _They scoured the campus;_   
_or at least thought they did;_   
_They even asked Pavel and_   
_that weird glasses kid._

Back in the study room, Troy let his head fall against the table. “This is crazy,” he groaned. “They're not _anywhere_.”

Next to him, Abed was quiet. “What should we do if they don't come back?” he said, finally.

Troy reached over and covered Abed's hand with his own. “We've still got each other, man.”

“I know that.” Abed smiled. “But we need them, too. I do, at least. We've both been making some big steps lately, but your character arc is moving towards responsibility and self-sufficiency, while mine is learning how to relate to other people. I need people to relate to.”

Troy shook his head. “Nah. I know what you'll mean. We'll find them. We just have to keep looking. And hey—” Abed looked up. “They're probably looking for us, too.”

Ten minutes later, Troy wasn't sounding so optimistic.

“Aliens!” he wailed, pounding his fists against the gym wall. “It was aliens! There is literally no other explanation!!”

“Maybe it was the mob,” Abed mused.

“Maybe they got dragged to hell like in that movie.”

“Drag Me to Hell?”

“No.” Troy sniffled. “The Goonies.”

Abed let it go. “Maybe they spontaneously achieved nirvana,” he suggested, trying to think of something positive.

Troy burst into tears again. “That's the dude who killed himself!”

***

 _They ran through the options,_   
_each one still yet worse._   
_Abed offered the TARDIS,_   
_but Troy said, “A curse!”_

 _A spectre? Phil Spector?_   
_Or maybe a hitman?_   
_All seemed lost 'til a savior came:_   
_Professor Whitman!_

“Now, what are you doing here, looking so glum?” Whitman exclaimed as he passed them in the hallway. “You look like you could use a whole bottle of rum.”

“Why is he talking in rhyme?” Troy whispered to Abed.

“It's more festive this way!” Whitman replied, then added quickly: “Here, have some gum.”

The boys exchanged a look—but hey, it was gum. “Thanks,” Troy said, taking a piece.

Whitman took a piece himself, but frowned when it didn't appear to cheer them up much. “Now, I must ask again, just what are you doing?” He tsked. “So sad when outside there's a revelry brewing!”

“What kind of revelry?” Abed asked.

“What's a revelry?” Troy asked.

“On the library roof, I was trying parkour,” Whitman explained, “when I saw below a banner! Balloons! And more! It looked, to me, like quite the celebration—I plan, myself, to make it my destination.”

They exchanged another look, but this time, it was tinged with embarrassment. “Did we check outside the library?” Troy muttered, leaning in close.

“We checked everywhere else.”

“...But we didn't check outside the library.” Troy let out a sound that was halfway between a laugh and a sob. “ _How_ did we not check outside the library?! This entire time?!”

“Well, forget about that now!” Whitman pounded Troy enthusiastically on the shoulder. “Your worries are done. I'm heading to the party, so follow me, come!” He burst into a brisk walk, waving them to follow.

“That didn't actually rhyme,” Abed pointed out as they fell into step behind him.

“Hush,” he hissed.

***

 _And lo and behold! (Whitman said)_   
_What should they find,_   
_but the friends that they'd worried_   
_had left them behind?_

 _And there was the banner,_   
_and there the balloons,_   
_on which were drawn faces_   
_of fair-use-altered toons._

(“It was all we could find at the party store,” Annie explained later, trying to fix the balloon that said “Mackey Moose.”)

 _A big tub of special drink,_   
_and even a tree._   
_And written on the banner:_   
_“Happy Real Party!”_

 _But the best gift of all stood_   
_'neath Mackey and Mannie:_   
_for there waited Jeff, Pierce, Britta,_   
_Shirley, and Annie._

Britta spotted them first. “Hey, you found them!” Whitman gave a little bow. Troy and Abed looked at him quizzically. “We roped him into going to look for you guys when you didn't show up here,” Britta explained.

“We thought about going ourselves, but that seemed like it was going to turn into a wacky 80's movie situation, and no one really wanted to deal with it,” Jeff added. “Glad you could make it.”

“I'll take my payment now, if you don't mind,” Whitman said, and reached for a sheaf of balloons. “This is the last batch I need to make my house climb for the heavens!”

“That also didn't rhyme,” Abed noted. Whitman gave him a withering look and pranced away.

Annie cleared her throat. “Okay, so, that... whole thing aside.” She beamed at them. “What do you guys think?”

Troy shook his head. “I don't get it. What is this?”

As the group tended to do, they looked as one at Jeff, who sighed. “Really, people? Okay, look. We felt bad that you both pretty much got robbed last month. Troy's birthday, and then Christmas...”

“We just wanted to make sure you both got the celebration you deserve,” Annie said, and then hastily added: “Um... in as non-official-holiday-celebration a way as possible, Troy.”

“Although I did think a _little_ tree couldn't hurt,”chimed Shirley. “To maintain the holiday spirit.” Everyone politely didn't mention the large baby Jesus at the top.

“The chocolate milk is pretty good, too.” Pierce was already sporting a chocolatey moustache, several suspicious empty paper cups sitting between him and the special drink.

“Pierce,” Britta hissed at him. “That was supposed to be for Troy and Abed.”

“I got thirsty and bored.” Pierce shrugged. “Big whoop. There's still some left—here.” He held out a cup.

Britta sighed and turned back to the boys, a nervous smile flitting across her face. “Okay, well, except for—”

“Pierce's multiple attempts to _ruin everything_ ,” muttered Jeff.

“—Except for that, what do you guys say?”

All turned hopefully, expectantly, to Troy and Abed, but they needn't have worried. Troy was lit up like a kid, eyes shining with unshed tears. And Abed... well, it was always a little difficult to tell with him, but his face had never looked softer. After a moment, he smiled.

“I say happy birthday, Troy,” he said quietly.

Troy thumped him gently on the back. “Merry Christmas, man,” he murmured.

It was Annie who rushed them first, pulling them into as massive a bear hug as she could. Shirley followed, enveloping the three of them in an awesomely warm mom hug; and then Troy and Abed were hugging back, and then Britta broke and ran over, shooting Jeff a meaningful look. “I think the Dean-approved phrase is 'Happy Happy' these days,” he drawled as dryly as he could, but he went all the same, too, his long arms reaching around just about everyone. And finally, even Pierce wheeled up, doing the best he could to huddle up in his chair.

And when they finally broke apart, Troy wiped his eyes, took the special drink from Pierce, and announced:

“Best first day of classes _ever_.”

 _So our heroes were saved,_   
_their spirits restored._   
_The group wasn't murdered!_   
_Troy and Abed's hearts soared._

 _And all there agreed, as they_   
_held their friends firm:_   
_Merry Christmas,_   
_Happy Birthday,_   
_And a Happy Spring Term!_


End file.
